My birthday came and went. No one remembered. No one cared. Not even me. I'm 21. So what.

Here’s the deal. I’m not going to post one of those whiny ass posts about how Faith was my BFF and I’m going to die without her when in all actuality I wasn’t even good to her or there for her when she was alive. ‘Cause unlike most of you? I was there. I did have her back. No matter what. She was my friend. No, she was more than that. And yeah, I’m gonna miss her. But instead of sitting around crying and feeling sorry for myself because she’s gone? I’m gonna do something about it.

So just a heads up, everyone should just stay the hell away from me. I have nothing to say to any of you.

I haven’t been home much lately. Not since Faith told me Fred had gone missing. Guess there was part of me that wanted to find her and bring her back home for Faith. To still be that hero she’d thought I was when she was under that kid spell. But, as hard as I tried I couldn’t really find out much. I knew something was going on though. I could feel it. Sense it even. And it was bad. Even I could tell that much. No one was giving up any information. Not even when I tried to beat it out of a few sources. But, hey I tried. I finally decided to come home and crash for a few hours. Willow was out, probably working on the same thing. There was stuff around that signified locator spell, so my guess is that she was helping Faith too.

I woke up a few hours later and sat on the couch in the living room, still trying to wake up and process my next course of action when I heard someone come in the front door. Knew who it was before she’d even made it to the living room. Faith. She asked me to watch Mandy for a while. It didn’t take a freaking genius to know that something was wrong. She looked like hell and wouldn’t even look at me. I finally got it out of her. And honestly? I would’ve done the same thing. Someone would’ve grabbed Willow and turned her or killed her? Given the chance to get my revenge? I would’ve. Doesn’t matter who it was. Still I know it doesn’t make it any easier on her. Probably one of the hardest things she’s ever had to do. And despite what anyone else thinks or says? It makes me respect her a little more.

You do what you have to do for the one you love.

I didn’t know what to do for her. I couldn’t fix it. Couldn’t take it away, no matter how much I wanted to. So, I just told her she could crash for awhile. She needed the sleep. Somewhere she could feel safe. I sure as hell wasn’t letting anyone get to her. I don’t care who it is. Faith knew that. Guess it was that sense of protectiveness I still felt towards her. Probably always would feel that way. I got dressed and headed out as soon as I knew she was asleep. Took Mandy with me and just walked. I needed to think. To process and figure out what we could do. There had to be something.

When I came back, she was already gone. Not that I was surprised. I knew before I even got there she would be. Just hope she’s okay. She already knows I’m on her side. That’s the important thing. Don’t get me wrong, I really got to like Angel when I was taking care of both of them during their recent re-visit to childhood. He was a good guy. But, like I said, when someone you love gets hurt or in this case, killed, you really don’t think clearly. You want revenge and you’ll stop at nothing to get it. I know I would do the exact same thing.

I don't think these things are too accurate. I'm hardly falling into that "slightly depressed" category. Whatever.

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Slight
Dysthymia:	Slight
Bipolar Disorder:	Moderate
Cyclothymia:	High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Slight-Moderate
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

This whole thing just really blew my mind. One minute we're all having ice cream, the next? I'm looking at a very pissed off and adult sized Slayer and vampire. At least Faith wasn't on my lap. Talk about uncomfortable situations. Lindsey and Angel are never gonna live that moment down. Good thing I had my camera. After that, I took Faith home and I haven't really heard from her since. At least Willow was back when I got home, which was good. But, honestly? I think I kinda miss having the kids around.

Oh, and by the way? Despite what anyone thinks they can do to bribe, coerce, or beg me to release the pictures I have in my posession?

Not gonna happen people. Just give it up. Seriously.

And don't think there aren't backups LOTS of them if anyone gets the idea to try to go through my girlfriend or a window when I'm not home. Keep that in mind.

So, this babysitting gig isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm actually having fun. Playing hide and seek with Faith, making sandcastles with both of them, eating cookies for dinner. It's been cool. And there's this part of me that's feeling kinda bad for wanting to pull the whole blackmailing act whenever they figure out how to reverse this spell. Willow and I have taken TONS of pictures. Hey, a girl's gotta have some insurance so give me a break. I didn't say i felt that bad.

It's been kinda nice though, having kids around to play with. Probably 'cause they're the only ones that can relate to me. Or maybe because they don't think I'm some huge brat with a bad attitude like one of them tends to do when she's not so small. But, we won't get into that. I'm just gonna enjoy this while I can. It's not every day that a spell gone wrong equals so much fun.

Okay, so I just got back from Cleveland. Now don't get me wrong, there was plenty of action there, and I'll get to that whole thing soon enough, but right now? It looks like I've totally missed out on some major stuff. Somebody wanna clue me in to what the hell is going on around here?

<td align="center" style="background: #000000; color: #FFFFFF;">Kennedy's Random Movie Quote:

'Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar.'

- Scarlett O’Hara, Gone with the Wind

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>


How cool is that?

So, I got bored in New York and decided I'd make my way back to Cali. Wait, wasn't that some lame rap song or something that was out before I was even born?

Anyway.

My plane landed and I grabbed a shuttle to the nearest hotel. I'm already this late for the holiday festivities, one more night won't hurt. Plus, I kinda wanted to get settled before I go showing my face around again. It's kinda been awhile. I don't even really know who's left here. For all I know everyone's all split up and spread out across the country.

Sue me, I haven't really kept in touch.

Just that weekly check in with one of the Watcher types. I at least know Buffy's here in LA. Not sure she'll be all with the welcoming, but I might as well give it a shot. Maybe part of me is homesick or whatever and despite all my efforts to deny it, they were kinda like my family.

Well, with less money anyway.

And I'm already bored. Sitting here in a ritzy hotel room, playing on my laptop is so not my thing. Even if this journal thing does have a rainbow layout. Cultural diversity anyone? Yeah, so maybe I should totally rethink that whole waiting til tomorrow thing. Or you know, maybe find something else to do. It is LA, I'm sure I'll have no problem.